[Update: I've been told a few times now that there isn't any truth to this “FCC allows the 'f' word“ business. That's OK - The main points of my post still stand. Most important, though, is that I think the idea of “coconut hammers“ is really funny, so I don't want to take this thing down. Read at your own risk - there be errors in here...]

[Update #2: Arron pointed out that there's a link back to the FCC on this matter, so it's looking rather true at the moment. That's cool, because it means that my “coconut hammer“ jokes weren't all for naught.]

Ran into a really interesting post over on Aaron Weiker's site about the "f" word, the FCC, and the 1st amendment.

I didn't realize that, to quote an email sent to Aaron, "The Federal Communications Commission has approved the use of the 'F' word for use on any TV show or radio program, ANYTIME DAY OR NIGHT!'"

I think this is pretty good news if it's true. The email that Aaron received, however, doesn't take this stance:

I find this interesting for several reasons.

First of all, I've never understood why, when given a right, people sometimes do whatever they can to protect it -- and then cripple it. It's like the people who always drive 10 miles an hour below the speed limit. What's the point?

But, and I find this much more interesting, this is another case of one particular group trying to do away with the rights of others simply because a particular law or right offends them. I'm not exactly the greatest American patriot ever, but I like the idea of milking this country for what makes it "great," and this desire to shut people up for uttering a few specific syllables in a certain order is totally un-American in the most irritating way.

I mean, the argument that your kids are going to hear "a song which makes extensive use of the word" is crap - If your kids hear the song, it's because you turned on the radio and tuned to the station playing it. Just as nobody forces me to listen to Rush Limbaugh on my way to work, nobody is going to force you to listen to a song with some mildly naughty language in it. Nobody forces you to listen to the radio. In fact, nobody's forcing you to leave the house.

If you want to be safe from what you consider to be offensive language, then your only real hope is finding a nice isolated spot out in the wilderness where you can start your own little society. Of course, when you're building all your grass huts, you'll probably injure yourself in some small way, curse your coconut hammer (that's what you always use in the wild to build the grass huts for your new society), and whatever word it is that you use to curse will become your society's equivalent to, for example, the "f" word. It shocks me to think that some people don't realize this, but there's nothing particularly offensive about the sound of the word - it's the meaning it's acquired over trillions of years of people shouting it after hitting their thumbs with coconut hammers. You can stomp out one bad word, but a replacement for it will just pop up someplace else. It's like "Whack-a-Mole."

As for Howard Stern: If you don't listen to him, then what do you care? When I'm flipping through the television channels, trying to find something good to watch (pretty hard, actually), I sometimes accidentally pass by the "Trinity Broadcasting Network," which I find to be "vile and repugnant." But, do you know what I do after the shock of the depravity recedes? Do you know what I do once the temporary blinding due to bright reflections on excessive quantities of fake gold passes?

I change the channel and go on with my day. I'm offended for a mere microsecond, which is about how long it takes instinct to take over and cause me to change the channel before any permanent damage is done. It's like the reaction you have when you touch a hot pan or accidentally glance at the sun. No real harm done, and you know not to do it again in the future.

Really, though, this comes down to a matter of taste. You think that the "f" word is sick and twisted, and I think that televangelists taking money from people in trailer parks is sick and twisted. However, I think that toupee-wearing, gold chain brandishing, really tacky furniture-on-sitting people ought to be allowed to do their thing.

Just the other day, Leo came to work wearing a blue lumberjack style button-up while wearing white and black speckled socks. I wanted to arrest him right then and there, but he has a right to dress that way regardless of how much it hurts me. BenjaminM had a similar scare at the PDC, but he got on with his day - and he lives in England where people don't have any rights and often get locked up for centuries in musty dungeons for no reason at all, never to be heard from again. I guess that's why he enjoyed his stay in America, the land of freedom, where he didn't have to worry about people being hauled off and burned, or tickled, or forced to eat marmite, or whatever the punishment is for wearing socks with sandals in a public place.

You just try spending a week living the nightmare that is BenjaminM's everyday life, and you'll come to appreciate the right for Regis to say the "f" word during his morning show (which he will no doubt do, since every TV show is going to take advantage of this right, even at the risk of alienating audiences and sending ratings down the tubes).

It's been said a bajizillibillion times, but the laws that protect Howard Stern's right to offend you when you purposely tune in to his show are the same laws that allow TBN to offend me, and Leo to offend everybody else.

That's important, because we'd have to burn people like Leo at the stake if these laws weren't in place, and who wants that?