The big news at the moment, as you all know, is that we seem to have captured someone who, at the very least, strongly resembles Saddam Hussein.

Even bigger news, though, is that Keiko the killer whale recently passed away.

This is a sad day for me because I had a personal connection with Keiko. I actually visited him at the aquarium one day on the Oregon coast while skipping school to buy a wetsuit, get drunk, and pass out on the beach.

We were about the same age, had similar interests, and shared a similar diet. We smelled pretty much the same. The connection was immediate and stronger than blood. I also believed at the time that I was able to engage in telepathic communication with the majestic beast, although it's entirely possible that the whale was just crazy.

But that's gone now and there's a killer whale-shaped hole in my life that you could drive a truck through. You could even light it on fire, put ramps on either side, and drive a high-powered American muscle car through it at a high rate of speed, although I'd prefer you didn't.

Goodbye, Keiko. You were like the brother with flippers that I never had (well, I did have one actually, but we kept him in the closet before selling him to the circus when I was younger).