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My own private creepy

As some of you may remember, I mentioned that Brian Jepson had given me a book of collected works by H. P. Lovecraft at the Providence nerd dinner.

Well, I was reading it last night, and began to wonder if I could write anything "creepy." Lovecraft is the first bit of "horror" that I've ever read, and it's a whole different ballgame from the novel/comedy/instructional stuff I usually read.

So, I gave it a shot. My goal was to write something that was:

1) Short

2) Creepy

In those respects, I think I may have succeeded. A little after midnight last night, I got in bed and wrote a short seven page creepy vignette. It doesn't have much of a plot, but the idea was to write something that elicited feeling rather than take the reader through some big journey.

I figure that things like plots and character development can come later. For now, what I'm really interested in is mood - I just wanted to see if I could make something that's the least bit eerie.

You can grab the thing here (PDF format).

I think that parts of it are OK, but feel that I fell pretty short in some areas. If you read it, and if you wouldn't mind telling me what sucked about it, I'd appreciate it.

Also, I named the main character after Brian since he's the one who introduced me to this stuff. Whether that's a good or bad thing really depends on how you feel about the story :)

Published Saturday, March 20, 2004 2:05 AM by Rory

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Comments

 

Mark Freedman said:

Ok, you are going to HAVE to finish this. You can't leave us hanging on like this! I'll have to read it again to offer up any criticism. I was reading it for the story -- which is a good thing, I guess.
March 20, 2004 3:00 AM
 

guyIncognito said:

the same thing happened to me as a child. after a while it became so regular that i was almost disappointed when the alien abductions and anal probings abruptly ceased on my 15th birthday
March 20, 2004 3:27 AM
 

John said:

OK, that was creepy.
March 20, 2004 12:14 PM
 

Mark Anthony Spiteri said:

I hope you are planning to continue this story - you can't leave us hanging like that!
March 21, 2004 6:55 AM
 

bliz said:

Coolness.
March 21, 2004 4:54 PM
 

Craig Andera said:

HP Lovecraft is, in my opinion, the greatest 20th century American author. His facility with the language and his ability to evoke emotion is nothing short of genius.

I liked your story. One suggestion: switch your first two paragraphs for a much stronger opening. One of the best bits of writing advice I've ever heard is, "Just start, already."
March 22, 2004 3:12 AM
 

Rory said:

Craig -

"I liked your story."

Thanks.

"One suggestion: switch your first two paragraphs for a much stronger opening. One of the best bits of writing advice I've ever heard is, 'Just start, already.'"

Yeah, yeah, yeah :)

True, though. I learned with this that I have some bad habits, and I think the "how to start" problem might be one of them...
March 22, 2004 3:19 AM
 

SteveM said:

<quote>I figure that things like plots and character development can come later</quote>

Well Lovecraft himself never seemed to bother much with them. As I recall, adjectives were his thing ;-)
March 22, 2004 8:55 AM
 

Michael Iantosca said:

that was creepy - please finish it - don't leave us hanging
March 22, 2004 7:58 PM
 

Josh Pollard said:

great story! very creepy! I hope you finish it, and write more!
March 23, 2004 6:32 PM
 

JonR said:

more please...
March 24, 2004 2:36 PM
 

Jelle Druyts said:

I'm a little late to the party but I just know it's that bastard no-good liquored-up father of his ;-)

<quote>For now, what I'm really interested in is mood - I just wanted to see if I could make something that's the least bit eerie.</quote>

The mood's there allright, but I'd say it's developing just a little too much in a straight line, with the storyline building up increasingly... Maybe you should chuck some information to the front before it becomes "useful". But then again, what do I know :-)

But it definitely has a certain "je-ne-sais-quoi" (j'ai compris que ton français est au moins aussi bien que le mien), I'm liking it so far so keep it up! Just never quit your comics ;-)

(Just be glad I didn't say 'never quit your day job' :-) Oh yeah, love your blog too btw...)
April 14, 2004 9:41 PM
 

TrackBack said:

Larry tries to enable my OCD
March 20, 2004 5:57 PM
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About Rory

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