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Waiting for SETI to win the lottery

I occasionally play the lottery. I know the odds are against me in a very large way and that it's viewed by many people as a dollar wasted, but that doesn't matter. What detractors don't seem to get is that playing the lottery is not about winning the lottery. Rather, it's about getting to take the time from your ticket purchase until the drawing to imagine how great it's going to be to when you have your $1,000,000 white trash speed boat out on the lake, seeing your friends on shore, noticing that they're beckoning you over (they really like you now that you're loaded), driving your speed boat over to them, slowing down on the approach as though you're going to stop to let them on, and then gunning it at the last second, arcing the boat around to create a wave that crashes on shore and soaks everybody, driving off before they even realize what's happened, sipping Cristal, laughing to yourself, and shouting "SO LONG, SUCKERS!" as you perfect your speedo thong tan and eat another dollop of caviar off the belly of a topless super model on the first of many sunny days that will last until the day you die.

The fantasy of winning is what the lottery is all about. You can rest assured that somebody, somewhere, will eventually win, but you never truly expect it to be yourself (unless under the influence of early morning sleep confusion).

I suppose that's why it was with mixed feelings that I read about Seth Shostak, SETI's senior astronomer, declaring that SETI (the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) would detect radio waves from extraterrestrials within twenty years. His reasoning seems to be straight from the "We just make this stuff up as we go along" department. He bases his assumption on assumptions that are based on other assumptions that are based on even more assumptions that are tied very closely to an "equation" which itself is nothing but a string of very large assumptions based on still more assumptions about intelligent life and the universe.

It's almost like buying a lottery ticket just to buy a chance to buy a chance to buy a chance to win the "real" lottery. Having to have a fantasy about fantasizing about a fantasy of what could really be.

On the one hand, Seth is engaging in that satisfying lotto fantasy about soaking his friends with his super speed boat, but at the same time it's somewhat disappointing to think that he's basically desperate for SETI to succeed. I've always enjoyed SETI because it keeps me thinking about the possibility of intelligent life elsewhere (and let's not have the dolphin argument right now - you know what I mean). I'm waiting for SETI to win the lottery, but I don't truly expect that it will happen in my lifetime. Why, just a few decades after we've begun listening, should we suddenly receive a radio transmission? It doesn't make much sense. It's not like the aliens are saying, "OK - the humans have hooked up their space radios - let's start broadcasting."

It's sad, too, because I would like more than anything, and certainly much more than winning the lottery, to know that there's intelligent life someplace else. I get romantic and teary eyed when I think about it. I fantasize about how cool it would be if another race of intelligent beings came here and enslaved us. I'm into kinky stuff like that. I think about the slinky space-outfits they'd make us wear while mining for dialithium crystals on asteroids in the Forbidden Zone - I dream of the day when Earth finally gets involved in the intergalactic slave trade.

But that's all - just dreaming. I don't really expect it to happen anytime soon, and I certainly don't expect us to hear from our future captors within twenty years. Just seems a bit outlandish.


After Blog Mint [?] :

If you're into reading about other people's problems to feel better about yourself, then don't miss out on grouphug.us. I had an idea for a site just like this about a year ago, but didn't have time to get it together - I'm glad someone did, though, because it is some seriously sordid reading.

Published Friday, July 23, 2004 9:26 PM by Rory

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Comments

 

Patrick Cauldwell said:

My lottory fantasies all involve quitting this whole computer biz and raising goats on a nice little off-grid, renewable energy powered farm somewhere warm. :) Never speed boats, and definitely not speedo thongs. ...shudder...
July 23, 2004 10:11 PM
 

Rory said:

Patrick -

"Never speed boats, and definitely not speedo thongs"

If you win the lottery, though, you're entitled to a certain amount of strange behavior.

So, although you might not want the speedo thongs for yourself, you could always make your goats wear them.
July 23, 2004 10:13 PM
 

Jeremy Brayton said:

Seth knows something we don't.

Here are a couple of scenarios:
1) A technologically advanced civilization is exactly 20 years (+however long we've been transmitting radio to space) behind us. In 20 years they'll hook up their first radio station.
2) In 20 years Seth will have the technology available to successfully "fudge" a radio transmission from space. Think about the movie "Contact" then think about this one for a little bit longer. This won't be considered a hoax in 20 years because there will be no way they can trace it.
3) Seth is a part of an advanced civilization sent here to spy on us and help develop SETI so his friends can send messages to us.
4) Seth is a time traveler from the future and knows when we first receive contact from extraterrestrial life.
5) Seth is a raving psychotic looking to keep his job and needs a good reason why people should be paying his salary.

Any one of these is probably true, or quite possibly all of them. Maybe Seth should pick our lotto numbers just to be on the safe side? Either way it sounds like he might help us out. Then again maybe he can only win the lottery in 20 years which is why he hasn't won it yet (and thus not needed to give a reason to keep paying his salary).

Actually I'm sure he's a nice guy but that's one predicition I wouldn't want to make. Most likely it won't come true and if it does, one would have to question how the hell he knew.
July 23, 2004 10:21 PM
 

haacked said:

Perhaps Seth assumes that the odds of an alien civilization is within a 30 light year radius from us. SETI started around 1960. Let's say that the aliens received our message around 1990. Thirty years later (twenty years from now), we'll finally receive that message.

But as you say, that's a lot of assumptions.
July 23, 2004 11:34 PM
 

Rory said:

Jeremy -

"Actually I'm sure he's a nice guy but that's one predicition I wouldn't want to make. Most likely it won't come true and if it does, one would have to question how the hell he knew."

That's pretty much what I was thinking, too. It's the kind of thing I might expect to see associated with tabloid Nostradomus predictions rather than someone who's in the thick of it and who ought to try to be a little more realistic.

Then again, though, I can't fault the guy too much. He's obviously committed to what he does and probably wants to see success in his life time.

Still... It kind of bugs me :|
July 23, 2004 11:54 PM
 

Rory said:

haacked -

"Perhaps Seth assumes that the odds of an alien civilization is within a 30 light year radius from us. SETI started around 1960. Let's say that the aliens received our message around 1990. Thirty years later (twenty years from now), we'll finally receive that message."

I'd totally buy that if there were good reason to believe that there is an alien civilization (or radio relay (or whatever)) within 30 light years of us, but that's the problem with Seth's reasoning - sooooo many assumptions (as you noted).
July 23, 2004 11:56 PM
 

Ron Green said:

Don't be misled by the naysayers who say you chances of winning the lottery are astronomical.
Your chances are exactly 1 in 2. You either win it or you don't.
July 24, 2004 3:52 AM
 

Phil Scott said:

One year when I was vacationing with my family I woke up with a very strong dream about going to an amusement park. I could vividly see details of the park - fountains, rides, etc. I was a bit confused when I woke up, but I ate breakfast and went and played basketball with my cousin. We came back to the house that we were staying in, and my uncle from New Hampshire had shown up unannounced. The reason? He was taking us to some amusement park in in western New York. And it was the SAME one from my dream. Really freaked the living crap out of me because I had never heard of this place, let alone been there. I mean, fountains and everything were where we I "remembered" them from my dream.
July 24, 2004 8:36 PM
 

John said:

You think there's intelligence on Earth?

Interesting.
July 25, 2004 10:48 AM
 

anonygreenman said:

Aliens are here today.

I mean, Slashdot, anyone?
July 26, 2004 2:09 PM
 

JP said:

Rory,

Please don't ever wear a speedo in public.

Sincerely,

Earth
July 26, 2004 8:38 PM
 

TomB said:

Are dolphins aliens? I know you didn't want to discuss that, but I didn't realize that. No wonder they don't talk to us, I bet they could--they just don't want to.
July 27, 2004 12:49 PM
 

Richard Campbell said:

I doubt it would surprise you much, Rory, but I process SETI@Home work units: 80-100 of 'em a day. Heck, I got all these computers, might as well do something with 'em.

Coming up on 50,000 work units finished. Maybe I'll find ET!
July 28, 2004 6:09 AM
 

Anonymous said:

Look up the "Drake Equation" on Google ... You'll see where all of the assumptions fit in.
July 28, 2004 2:16 PM
 

Psychotic Rambler said:

Why, just a few decades after we've begun listening, should we suddenly receive a radio transmission? It doesn't make much sense. It's not like the aliens are saying, "OK - the humans have hooked up their space radios - let's start broadcasting."

Rory: You've got to have the reciving antenna aimed in the right direction. We've been sending out radio waves for a long time, and it's possible someone has already heard us and is sending shit back at us... But if we don't have an antenna pointing in the right direction, we're not going to hear it. THis stuff is pretty directional when you're talking about getting radio waves from dozens of light-years away... There's a lot of sky to cover.

(Of course, I think it's possible that if a species lives on a very different time-scale from us, say muuuch slower, messages from them might not ever really be noticed, as the modulation of the carrier could be really, really slow.)
July 29, 2004 8:51 PM
 

haacked said:

rory- "I'd totally buy that if there were good reason to believe that there is an alien civilization (or radio relay (or whatever)) within 30 light years of us".

You should see my bathroom. That may turn you into a true believer.
July 31, 2004 1:14 AM
 

TrackBack said:

One in a Million Miracles Happen 295 Times a Day In America
July 26, 2004 2:02 PM
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About Rory

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