I'm going to leave town and head to the coast for a couple days to chill with the grandparents and beat up jocks on the beach while trying to get over the fact that I recently broke off relations of every kind with someone I spent the previous five years of my life with.

Before I go, though, I wanted to leave you with something. It's not much, you know? Just a little pick-me-up in case things get rough while I'm gone (which will amount to about 24 hours, so don't get all freaked out).

I put it together because a friend of mine recently mentioned to me over email that she felt like she needed to hang out with "more smart people." Never mind, of course, that saying this to me implied that I wasn't what she considered to be "smart people." These things happen.

Reading into her message, I got the feeling that she might have been feeling a little insecure about her smartness. Her smartness is actually pretty damned high, but people sometimes don't believe in their own smartness and need to be told that their smartness is good.

I decided, then, to take it upon myself to make her smartness official. To this end, I created the "NEOPOLEON.COM CERTIFICATE OF SMARTNESS." You can use it to make your own smartness official, too.

There's a thumbnail below. If you'd like a nice printable copy, then clicking on the thumbnail will pop up a larger (1024x768) image.

With that, then, I bid you farewell until my return...