Boy, the quality of my life sure has improved since my air conditioner broke.

Seriously. I'm really happy to be sitting here in undies totally drenched with sweat, typing on sweaty keys with sweaty fingers.

Speaking of sweat, this is the weekend of the Cinco de Mayo festival in Portland. It's a hot, dry, dusty, cheap-beer event, brought to you by the inventors of Pain.

A gang of hardened criminals has already arrived in town and set up what could, only in the mind of Clive Barker, father of "Hellraiser", be termed a "Fun Center".

Needless to say, I'm going to forgo all of the "Fun" this year, and opt to stay at home since nothing beats sitting in the oppressive heat of an apartment that resembles the mouth of that one guy from the "Listerine" commercials.

I'm going to go crawl inside my freezer with my laptop. The internet will keep me company until my body freezes. If one of you wouldn't mind having me thawed when my air conditioner is working again, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks.