Well, I did it. I secured $29.72 in venture capital for neopoleon.com.

It was tough, and took me a while. I had doors slammed in my face, got hung up on repeatedly, and was on one sad occasion escorted out of an office building at gunpoint (I didn't have an appointment, didn't know that you weren't supposed to sneak past secretaries, and didn't know that you weren't supposed to pick the locks on office doors in order to get to the person in charge - sue me - if it's so important that people don't do this, then why don't we make laws against it?).

Eventually, though, it happened. The best part? I did it on my own.

When I realized that no self-respecting venture capitalist was going to fund me, I took matters into my own hands and pilfered the tip jars at twelve coffee shops in Portland.

So, I now have nearly $30 with which to improve the site so that it's more enjoyable for you, the consumer. I thought about using the money to have the font changed, but have since changed my mind. Now, I'm going to spend some of the money on a bottle of Mad Dog, the hooker to share it with, and save the rest for a rainy day. If that's what it takes to make this site better for you, then that's what I'm going to do. Your happiness is important to me.

Yup. I don't see what everybody's complaining about. Life has only been getting better for me since the bubble burst (this is actually true, as I was a penniless loafer living in my father's basement when the bubble was still inflated).

The way I see it, there are those of us who see the opportunities in life, and those of us who don't.

I'm proud of myself today.