Next up was George Bush. He made it just in time, too, managing to land his Harrier jet on the roof of the hotel without so much as scratching the paint.

I saw that, and was like, "Now there's a guy who obviously put in his time with the Air National Guard."

His talk was on "Using XML to Wage War from a Distance."

In it, President Bush outlined various applications that his staff wrote which utilized XML for the purpose of carrying information over enemy lines.

His favorite was a tool that allowed him to send instant messages to Iraqi computers and cell phones.

"WE'RE COMIN' TO GET YOU," the messages said. "YOU BETTER BE READY, 'CAUSE WE'RE ARMED TO THE TEETH, AND WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NOTHIN'."

"The best part," said Bush, with that trademarked look of absence dreaminess in his eyes, "was that I didn't even have to leave the White House to send those messages. XML has made it easier for me to be a soldier, and I think that's a wonderful thing."

He then kissed a couple of babies who were in the audience, waved goodbye, and flew off in his jet, probably to help people in need.