Sometimes, I encounter things that people do/say which really confuse me.
I've had something to do with three such things in the past twenty-four hours.
The mistaken voice mail
When you call my phone, and when I ignore it, you'll get my voice mail. This is pretty
normal stuff. People are used to getting voice mail boxes, and they seem to be pretty
sure of how to handle such situations. In other words, dealing with voice mail is
an everyday thing which shouldn't be all that difficult.
When you get my voice mail box in particular, you'll get a message saying,
"Hi. This is Rory. Leave me a message."
Not a lot of room for error, right?
I mean, it says that it's me - Rory. It isn't a terribly common name. It doesn't
sound like George, or Frank, or whatever.
So, why am I always getting messages like the following, and why do they always arrive
at 3:00 A.M.?
Hey, Chris, this is Tony! Wassssssup, man! I've been trying to get a hold of you for
forever, man. Where are you, dude? Call me.
The answer, Tony, is that Chris is with his phone - That's where he bloody
well is, you neolithic jack-ass.
The discriminating lottery ticket buyer
When Powerball is "only" at ten or twenty million dollars, you don't see lines of
eager lottery ticket purchasers wrapping around buildings.
However, the second it hits about a hundred million, people start cashing in their
401k accounts just to buy the opportunity to lose all their dough.
What's going on here? Is twenty million just not enough?
The ironic thing is that, when so many people are lining up to buy their losing tickets,
it isn't uncommon for two or three people to win at the same time. When so many people
win at once, a one-hundred million dollar prize is suddenly reduced to the thirty-million
one that nobody cared about.
Hello-o-o-o-o...
The short-term memory impaired hypocrite
Some people base their entire lives around hypocrisy, and some do an incredibly good
job of it. It's because they know that they're being hypocrites, which somehow
makes it a little less offensive.
But, when someone is a total hypocrite from one statement to the next without realizing
it, it's like that person's license to be a hypocrite is suddenly revoked. It's because
the person who is being hypocritical in such a case is obviously stupid, and
that's scary since (s)he can probably vote in this country.
For example, take this conversation that I overheard during lunch today between two
women at the table next to me:
W1: I can't believe she took that marketing position with T-Mobile. She could have
had the job with the breast cancer organization, but she didn't take it. She is so materialistic.
The breast cancer position really would have given her room to grow as a person, but
all she cares about is money.
W2: I totally agree. All she ever talks about is how much she spends. I hate that
kind of thing. It's like she doesn't have any spirituality or anything. By the way,
is that a new purse? I love it.
W1: Oh, yeah. I picked it up in New York last week.
W2: Expensive?
W1: Very.
What's wrong with these people?
I wish I knew why things in the world happened this way.