My mom left for Cuba yesterday. She goes pretty much every summer. I don't know what
she's doing there, but she seems to enjoy it.
I was just thinking that it would be kind of cool to get little updates from her as
she travels around the island. She's one of these people who tends to get herself
into trouble wherever she goes. She's shorter than I am, and her nose is even larger
than mine. When lying down, she looks kind of like a small unreliable sailboat.
Something interesting happens with each trip. Last time, someone tried to poison her
with some weird bone-water potion-spell thing. The time before that, I'm fairly certain
that she got involved with some weird chicken-blood ceremony. As Rosanne Rosannadanna
was so fond of saying, "It's always something."
Even at home. She's suing a bunch of people right now because she got pepper sprayed
during a protest. While I'd like to side with her, it is my duty as a good citizen
to point out that, with a nose like hers, she could have been in The Republic of Chad
and still have been pepper sprayed in a Portland protest.
Nope. Never a dull moment with mom.
One time, I was studying for the final exam of an Eastern Civilization course, and
I got into a fight with my dad. I fled his house (hard to study when you're arguing
with someone), and headed to the Commie Mommy's. I was sick as hell, and had a pretty
nice 103 degree fever going. I expected to get some sympathy of the warm-motherly
sort.
What did I get? Mom put on the Communist Anthem, chugged a six-pack of Bud Light,
and started marching up and down the living room, giving impromptu and totally incoherent
speeches on everything from my inability to get along with my father to the rising
cost of toothpaste.
I think mum might be able to provide some pretty good blog material.
If I can get a hold of her, that is...