You missed it.
Oh, yeah. Ohhhhh, boy. You realllly missed it.
And when I say "you" in italics like that, I'm not talking about the "you" that had a good excuse not to come to the Portland Nerd Dinner tonight. I'm not talking about the "you" that lives at a geological recording station in the Arctic. I'm not talking about the "you" that was giving birth in the Republic of Chad earlier tonight.
No, sir. I'm talking about you: The nerds among you who live in Portland but didn't attend tonight's dinner.
I'm talking about the "you" who didn't get to hear Rick's story about working for a Detroit crime lord.
I'm talking about the "you" who didn’t get the chance to learn about Joe’s ideal laptop, which would include 37 hard drives, weigh 85 pounds, and probably cause a small blackout if it were ever turned on.
I’m talking about the "you" who didn’t get to check out Jim’s new tablet.
I’m talking about the "you" who didn’t get to chill with Phil and meet his lovely wife.
I’m talking about the "you" who missed Chris telling the tale of his friend, who was obviously short of cash or something, who swallowed a raw cow testicle for two dollars.
Oh, yeah. That’s right - I’m talking about you.
Next time, if you’re able, you ought to think about showing up. That way you will be one of us.
It takes people to make a community, you whackjobs.
P.S.
I'm sorry I called you all whackjobs. If only I could turn back time and find a way to remove that line from this blog post before I publish it right now.