While showering this morning, I was thinking about the phrase "I WANT SOME ANSWERS, AND I WANT THEM NOW!"

I hear it in the movies all the time, and also from the mouths of people who watch too much television.

It seems like the person saying it is always really irate. I don't see why this has to be. Answers are very easy to come by, and I came up with five (5) this morning alone.

I did not, however, come up with the questions. Nobody said anything about wanting any questions. If you're interested, feel free to provide those yourself.

Some Answers

1. Only on Tuesdays, and never in front of the dog.

2. I understand everything you just said, but I'm a little confused by the part about stapling the fish to the tree. Is that necessary?

3. In the shed, of course, and probably next to the leaking garbage sack.

4. The obvious answer is to steal a Klingon Bird of Prey, crank that sucker up to warp 10, and loop it around the sun.

5. Gelatin. Lots and lots of gelatin. And hamsters. Lots and lots of hamsters.