I don’t think there was a night this week when I got to bed before 6:00 AM. I was so hell bent on getting my Channel 9 screencasts up that I didn’t notice the time go by. It was just type-type-type, click-click-click, sip-sip-sip, click-click-click, sip-sip-sip, and then the sun would come up and I’d wonder why the sun was coming up so soon.
It turns out the sun wasn’t coming up too soon. It was coming up exactly when it was supposed to. Like, if I were a sunologist, I could have told you that that was exactly when the sun was supposed to come up. But I’m not a sunologist – I’m a professional… I don’t know. What the hell am I? I’ve read the web site, but I don’t know what I do for a living.
Anyway, point is, there was a lot of typing, and very little sleeping (I went to bed at 11:00 AM today and woke up at 3:00 PM – woo!). And sometime, right in the middle of the week, when there was a mountain of work behind me and a mountain of work still ahead of me, I took a break down at my favorite Starbucks where all the bariste are gorgeous and the pastry cases are always devoid of the cinnamon scones I’m sure I’d like if I ever got to try one.
While sitting there, my friend Rachel walked in. We didn’t expect to see each other, but she sat down, said hello, and then mentioned she had read my little post about my not-relationship.
Since that post went up, my friends, bless their little hearts, have either:
1. Said: I TOLD YOU SO, YOU ****ING JACK-ASS (and I heart you, too, juke (seriously – juke’s awesome – but she totally kicked me when I was down (but I still love her)))
or
2. Said: Hey. I know where you’re coming from. Let me pat your leg and tell you a little story about my own problems…
Of all the stories I heard, I think Rachel’s was my favorite.
It was also the shortest. It doesn’t even qualify as a story. She just read a few choice quotes to me from emails her “boyfriend” had sent her.
Check this sweetness out, my brothas…
Directly from one of his emails:
You should take responsibility for your mistakes, and take it for mine.
Yeah. One human being actually said that to another and was serious about it. I’m pretty sure this guy escaped from the tard farm. I don’t know how he wound up with Rachel (she’s cool and stuff – after chatting with me, I went back to her apartment and she played Ravel and Debussy for me on her piano – and did it well – it was awesome).
Then:
Let's not argue too much, Rachel. It does affect me.
I was seriously going to go on a quest this year to find a bigger asshole than myself, but Rachel put an end to that by bringing his work right to me.
One part of me is incredibly offended that he would say such a thing, while another part has to respect this bastard just a little for having the nerve to consider arguments OK up until they hurt him, too. That’s a genuine Idiot Male.
He also had some neat ideas about how to conduct relationships.
For example, he, as far as I know, invented the Closet Talk.
From what I was told, when you have a Closet Talk, your crazy boyfriend tells you that he wants to talk to you about his feelings, but that he can’t talk to you in a normal room where it’s light, and that you’re both going to have to go in the closet to discuss your feelings. Face to face. In the dark.
Then, while in there, and after he’s sent you emails containing quotes like the ones above, he says, “I'm finally beginning to think that a long term relationship might not be possible between us.”
When Rachel told me, I tried to picture the look on her face when he said this to her. But you know what? I couldn’t.
Because they were in a bloody closet.
Do any of you have stories like this? How do people get to be so… I don’t know… stupid?