It's been too long, my friends. My friends and unfriends. Enemies. Accountants. Bus drivers, fast food workers, dog walkers, child-abusers, and all the other people who make up the patchwork demographic of lost souls looking to waste time between the hours of nine and five to read the idiocies I voluntarily put down here for my own, and accidentally your, entertainment.

But too much has happened, and so much of what has happened falls quite completely under the category of "UNMENTIONABLES" when it comes to a corporationally monitored web site such as the one sitting before you now (neopoleon.com being the work of eArt in question (ha ha – “eArt” – that’s really stupid)).

Three things happened this week about which I will not write one whit:

1. Something wonderful

2. Something wonderful

3. Something horribly, horribly awful, which turned out, thanks to a close friend, to be something wonderful

And that accounts for the majority of the 168 hours during which I haven't posted here, but fortunately there are still a few things I think I can say without offending anybody:

1. I feel demmed good.

2. My shades, which cost slightly more than your rent, still look fabulous on me.

3. I'm a monster in the sack.

4. I have four unpaid parking tickets and have been served four official looking documents by the City of Portland stating that I will be put to the gallows if I don't fork over the nine dollars I owe by some date in the near future, although I plan on getting around this issue by relying on the gross incompetence which comes hand in hand with government run bureaucracy. Before those parking tickets are paid, I'll be happily (EMPHASIS ON HAPPILY) performing in a Mexican circus and living several thousand miles below the border, sustaining my bodily needs on the diet of churros which will be my regular payment. It seems like a bit of an overreaction when we're talking about entire ones of dollars standing between me and incarceration, but it's something I must do. It's about my soul more than it is my pocketbook.

Also, I’ve been working my ass off with Dave to make sure that PandaControl works. Those of you who have complained about the way we’ve been doing videos will be WAY EFFING HAPPY to know that we’re switching to Flash so that our videos will be viewable in your precious little open-source pussy hippy operating systems (provided you can actually figure out how to compile and run the applications necessary to view the videos).

With that, I’m signing off. I’ve already written over 20,000 words this week, and unfortunately, none for this site. My hands hurt.