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Scooped in my own forums: I am the Smartest Man in the World

If you pay any attention to the forums, then you may have read DonXML’s post about TheSmartestMan.com.

You may also have read DonXML’s post on his own site about the show.

Or you may have seen the mention on Carl’s site.

Wherever you may have heard about it, it’s my show, and I think I’m the last to write about it.

The skinny of it all is that a group of readers that I’ll call “The Whiners” complained a lot about the size of some of my posts. You might not know this, but some of my posts can run in excess of a thousand words! Given the average adult’s ability to read about two hundred words a minute, you can imagine that entire minutes were spent trying to slog through those marathon bits of record-breaking stamina writing.

If you’re one of the people who fits into the group that I call…

THE WHINERS

…then my new podcast is for you.

Instead of having to exercise the part of your brain that reads (which is evidently extremely small), you can exercise the part of your brain that listens to things (which is hopefully not so anemic).

In short, if your attention span is roughly the size of a peanut…

Peanut_attention_span

…then you need to head over and start downloading.

It’s me, reading some of my longer posts, in my own voice, as I heard them in my own head when I was writing them. There will also be new material, created exclusively for the show. The word “exclusively” is supposed to get you interested, like there’s something special going on. Do you like it? Do you like it when I say “exclusively”? Does it get you all hot and bothered? You know, I think you’re kind of cute. You should call me sometime.

“Exclusively.”

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Anyway…

Even if you’ve already read some of the posts, it’s good stuff. I was told recently that I have a WAY sexy voice, so if the content doesn’t excite you, my silky baritone should. I think. I mean, the demographic breakdown of my site probably includes about 97% males, but whatever. Sexy is sexy. Take what you can get.

Shows will be released weekly and will range from seven to fifteen minutes in length. Perfect for the bus or the car or whatever. I don’t know what you do. I don’t know where you like to listen to things.

Check it out:

Rory Blyth: The Smartest Man in the World

Published Monday, September 11, 2006 8:50 PM by Rory

Filed Under:

Comments

 

Soundboard Monkey said:

I, for one, have the attention span of an *extraordinary* peanut.
September 11, 2006 9:51 PM
 

Blue said:

Very funny, Rory. I'm a decent reader, but sometimes it's funnier to listen to a voice. Er... your voice is sexy, right?
September 11, 2006 11:18 PM
 

Erwin Blonk said:

Over a thousand words...... what's up with these youngsters? In my day a book worth reading would be like at least a thousand pages.
September 11, 2006 11:27 PM
 

NickWhiteUK said:

Hey Rory, Where can I purchase a neopoleon bed - they look way comfy?
September 12, 2006 12:15 AM
 

50% male said:

>The skinny of it all is that a group of readers that  complained a lot about the size of some of my posts.
Rorwie, Rorwie, Rorwie - it's not the size of your Stack<> - its how you push() and pop()

>You know, I think you’re kind of cute.
oh, thanks - bet you say that to all the boys/girls/pandas.

>“Exclusively.”
>Yeah. Uh-huh.
'Cheif' could so do a song on that.

>I don’t know where you like to listen to things.
One word: bath.
oh yeah.
September 12, 2006 2:16 AM
 

Thera said:

it's funny, you can actually *hear* your arrogance in your posts...just a little.

Is that what you call it?  Arrogance?  Pride?  Whatever...you know what I'm talking about.

I think you should set the panda in your soap dispenser free one of these days...

this is getting to be just downright cruel and inhumane...

even though pandas aren't human.  Or humane.  Actually I think they eat people.

All you have to do is open the top of the bottle REALLY fast and run like hell.

Good luck.
September 12, 2006 6:06 AM
 

George said:

Well, if you remember, when you first mentioned that you were going to be doing some podcasts of you reading your posts, I wasn't too thrilled. It seemed like a waste of time to me, I can read rather quickly, the length of your posts tend to excite me rather than scare me and having to listen to you droooone on trying to read to me sounded tedious.

*I* *was* *wrong*.


No matter how much i THINK that I can hear your voice reading to me in my head, it just wasn't the same as hearing the post the way you actually spoke it.

Very nicely done, it was very enjoyable and even though I remember that post very clearly, it still felt very fresh and produced more than a few chuckles as I listened to you read it to me again.

I guess next up is 3D holograms of you acting out your posts? How soon before you release those?
September 12, 2006 6:55 AM
 

KTamas said:

Haha, love the new podcast. Can't wait for the next one.
September 12, 2006 7:35 AM
 

GuyIncognito said:

I would have been lost without the picture!

September 12, 2006 9:38 AM
 

Rory said:

Lady,

"it's funny, you can actually *hear* your arrogance in your posts...just a little."

Was it the part where I compared the attention span of some of my readers to the size of a peanut?

'Cause I thought that was rather subtle. A good demonstration of tact. My abilities as a diplomat.

Also, I think you're effing hot.

See?

Tact.
September 12, 2006 12:22 PM
 

Rory said:

My dearest George -

"Well, if you remember, when you first mentioned that you were going to be doing some podcasts of you reading your posts, I wasn't too thrilled. It seemed like a waste of time to me, I can read rather quickly, the length of your posts tend to excite me rather than scare me and having to listen to you droooone on trying to read to me sounded tedious."

Consider, though, that I don't lump you in with the group I call THE WHINERS.

I'm aware of your superhuman attention span. You could use it to pole-vault the Statue of Liberty.
September 12, 2006 12:27 PM
 

Rory said:

KTamas -

"Haha, love the new podcast. Can't wait for the next one."

Cool :) We recorded a year's worth (roughly), so there shouldn't be a shortage...
September 12, 2006 12:28 PM
 

Tee said:

Actually, I was talking about in the Podcasts, but it shows up in pretty much everything you do.

And I think you're effing hot too.

:)
September 12, 2006 2:25 PM
 

bliz said:

ROry -

"We recorded a year's worth"

Is that when played end to end? My god, man, it must have taken forever (or at least a year) to record.

[i didn't read the part about them being released weekly. i have a short attention span.]
September 12, 2006 3:01 PM
 

bliz said:

(Good starting "post" by the way.) :)
September 12, 2006 3:06 PM
 

paul said:

I understand the Port Authority Bus Terminal Men’s room is looking for a full-time attendant.  
September 12, 2006 6:46 PM
 

Dr Herbie said:

Sexy voice?  But you're not even Scottish!
September 13, 2006 2:46 AM
 

Helen said:

The word “exclusively” is supposed to get you interested, like there’s something special going on. Do you like it?

It reads appallingly like another website I know where products are sold. Maybe you should start charging and then after a few days charge more.  Don't even think about it!!

While your sound post was amusing, I kind of preferred reading it myself. I have not heard too many spoken CVs before, the phrase about 'the party where there were nachos' stuck in my head since I read it.
Your devoted reader, exclusively devoted to reading your blog,

Helen
September 13, 2006 4:31 AM
 

F X said:

this might be off-topic...but your gamer handle is dangerously close to the nick name of US snowboarding prodigy Shaun White, aka "The Flying Tomato." *shudder*
September 15, 2006 2:47 PM
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